MARLER: Week 4 SEC Power Rankings

It’s week four of the college football season and we’ve got a lot to get in to. So far through three weeks the SEC looks like Dolly Parton because, my Lord, is this conference top heavy. However, there are still some good teams in the bottom half of the league and a lot of season left. So without further adieu, here are this week’s power rankings.

16.  Mississippi State

Oh brother, these guys stink. A 24-point loss to a MAC team?! Things are ugly in Starkville. And, against all odds, it’s not even because of the people and scenery.

15.  Florida

Sheesh. Florida was down 20-0 at the half against Texas A&M. At home. To a backup QB. We are running out of excuses as to why Florida shouldn’t drop $26 million on firing Napier.

14.  Kentucky

This column is a lot like that 4th-and-8 with three minutes left against Georgia because Mark Stoops punted on both. You had the No. 1 team in America on their heels and then willingly gave them the ball back with three minutes to play. Shockingly it resulted in UK’s fifteenth straight loss to the Bulldogs.

13.  Arkansas

You know how in every football movie or show there’s at least one game where the team inexplicably struggles the entire game? They can’t do anything right and constantly get in their own way. It could be because of rain, it could be because of turnovers, and/or it could be because the team spent all night at the local strip club where they ran into a buzzsaw of tequila and their Sex Ed teacher. That’s a “Varsity Blues” reference if you were wondering.

Anyway, that’s Arkansas.

Varsity Blues (1999) pic.twitter.com/apzTaAvBO0

— Samuel (@Nightowl0522) September 17, 2024

12.  Auburn

Auburn fans are already in midseason form. And by midseason form, I mean they’ve already convinced themselves of unreachable wins, given up on the season, given up on the quarterback, put all their eggs in the basket of the new quarterback, and have now once again convinced themselves of unreachable expectations all over again.

It’s only Week 4, y’all.

11.  Vandy

Vandy should be 3-0, but they’re not. Vandy should also be lower on this list. But, they’re not. Why? Because sometimes Vandy deserves nice things.

Also, because my girlfriend recently made me watch a Hulu doc on bullying and I have irrationally projected my feelings on those poor kids by identifying Vandy along with them and in some twisted way I feel better about myself by ranking them higher. How’s that for honesty?

Also, it wasn’t a Hulu doc on bullying. It was “Benchwarmers” with Rob Schneider and David Spade. But that sounds far less cultured.

10.  Oklahoma

Oklahoma kinda sucks. They’re offensive line is atrocious. There run game is nonexistent. And, things have been so bad in Norman that I purposefully used the wrong form of their in the previous two sentences so they could feel better about themselves by correcting me.

9.  Texas A&M

Start Marcel Reed the rest of the year. Please.

Sincerely, Everyone.

8.  South Carolina

Objectively speaking South Carolina should be 3-0, and that’s all I have to say about that.

Also, they were just flagged again for this article.

A pair of penalties negated two South Carolina pick-6 scores in yesterday’s game against LSU.

Did the Gamecocks get screwed? Or did the referees make the right calls? You be the judge. pic.twitter.com/114oRtm9lq

— SEC Unfiltered (@SECUnfiltered) September 15, 2024

7.  LSU

A win is a win is a win is a win. It wasn’t pretty, but there’s something to be said for coming from behind down 17-0 on the road and escaping a hostile environment with every single one of your goals still intact. Brian Kelly and the Tigers deserve a ton of credit regardless of how that game played out. And, one thing that no one can deny is that Garrett Nussmeier is an absolute dawg.

6.  Mizzou

Mizzou played a ranked opponent in a non-nationally televised game at the same time LSU-South Carolina and Alabama-Wisconsin were on.  Luckily for them, most of America didn’t see how bad they looked for a third of that game against Boston College. Good news though: Luther Burden finally got going and they’re 3-0.

5.  Alabama

There are two main takeaways from Alabama’s 42-10 drubbing of Wisconsin. One, this offense is scary when it is firing on all cylinders. It’s like Uncle Terry in that viral fireworks video to be honest. It is slow moving and inefficient and then out of nowhere very explosive and causes a ton of damage.

Hope everyone puts it in reverse for Terry today #July4th “back up terry” pic.twitter.com/8krogXORBx

— Modern Notoriety (@ModernNotoriety) July 4, 2022

The second takeaway? Maybe–and just hear me out–South Florida is actually good? Regardless of how embarrassing that game was, USF has played Bama closer in back-to-back years than most SEC teams have in the last 15-plus.

4.  Ole Miss

Ole Miss beat Wake Forest so badly that the Demon Deacons backed out of their game in Oxford in 2025. And it was only 40-6. Jaxson Dart looked human, and the 34-point win was their lowest margin of victory of the season so far. The scariest part of the Rebs so far? That defense of mercenaries they got from the portal looks really, really good.

3.  UGA

UGA may very well be the best team in the conference and the country. They may very well still go undefeated. And, the game against Kentucky shouldn’t make you a prisoner of the moment by forgetting how they absolutely dismantled Clemson in the season opener.

All that can be true and they still deserve to be at No. 3 in this week’s power rankings. Being held to 65 total yards of offense in the first half at Kentucky was embarrassing. The offense struggled. The run game struggled. There were lapses in focus (i.e. Oscar Delp’s fumble late in the fourth quarter). But Georgia did what Georgia always does. Win. And that also counts for something.

2.  Texas

One time my second grade teacher broke her arm after she fell down going out to recess to supervise. It was really sad. But she was fine. And it got us out of a spelling test I absolutely wasn’t prepared for. We were all concerned for her well being while also being very excited about how the rest of the day played out.

That’s how Texas fans felt when Quinn Ewers went down with a non-season threatening injury on Saturday that led to America’s favorite backup Arch Manning coming in and subsequently balling out.

“Oh no. Hate it for Quinn. Take your time brother, you need rest. We’ll be ok…” (Turns away from Ewers and whispers)

“Y’all see our sweet angel dual threat QB Arch on that 67 yard TD run?!?!?! We’re never losing again baby! Hook Em!”

Arch Manning is not a Manning running like this pic.twitter.com/6csepHgkaF

— Big Cat (@BarstoolBigCat) September 15, 2024

1.  Tennessee 

They’ve played nobody. NC State is their best win.  The Wolfpack clearly suck after struggling with both Western Carolina and La Tech. And Kent State was trash. I don’t care. No one else is up 65-0 on FBS teams and outgaining them 541 to 23 in total yards at halftime. But, Tennessee is.

Plain and simple, as of right now, Tennessee is the best team in America. The offense is unreal, and the defense is so much better than people could have anticipated. It’s a long season and they have an actual challenge this week in Norman. But, The Vols are back and they are not going anywhere. And, I admittedly hate it.